Help! My CNC Swordfish machine is duplicating all of my projects! What’s worse, it seems to defy me, which is even more alarming. When I press “Run,” it keeps telling me that resistance is futile!!! I’m all for 21st century technology in my shop, but I’m beginning to wonder if the inmates are running the asylum. How do I make it stop? – Axel Garease
Mort Ismaker: Serves you right, Axel. Anybody who can rub two boards together knows this sort of newfangled technology doesn’t belong in the shop. Robot-controlled routers are bound to take over eventually. What did you expect? Even a monkey will eventually type War & Peace if you leave it in front of a typewriter long enough. Why shouldn’t a router run by computer chips eventually do something unnatural, too?
I believe woodworking comes only from the sweat of our own brows, not some IT programmer’s dream of working wood without ever actually touching it. If your CNC “wonder” router is spitting out two whirligigs instead of one, it’s your problem, buddy. Unplug the darn thing, grab a Yankee drill and a good old crosscut saw, and get to work! Leave automation outside the shop door. ‘Nuff said. I’ve got a few pencils to finish carving and some candles to dip before it gets dark.
Job Rinestone: Don’t fight the technology revolution! When’s the last time you remember finishing every single project on your to-do list? I’ll wager it’s been a long time. And that’s just getting ONE of everything made! Think of the possibilities here, my friend: if you play your cards right, that Swordfish is checking off your holiday gift list every time you set it loose. From now till December 24, you are RACKING UP PROJECTS right and left, man! That machine is like a private elf army. Kick back and enjoy it, I say. Wish I had a Swordfish myself.
Phillup D. Glewbottel: Sorry, Axel, but I’ll have to withhold comment. I’m finally close to figuring out how to program my VHS player, so no time for CNC here. I’m sure a radio-controlled whizbang router like you have there is loads of fun. Good luck with it, but keep the shop door locked at night, just in case. You can never be too careful with power tools … or newfangled technology.
